Disappointment is ...

...where reality doesn't match up to expectations. So I was hugely disappointed when I decided after after chemo cycle 3 that I was going to stay away from infections and stay out of hospital for 2 weeks, that on day 9 I got the shivers and then the sweats, the temperature spike and found myself back in for 6 days.

IV antibiotics kept me well, but I again needed 2 units of blood, coincidentally as my brother Tony was making his 75th donation - one a year and it soon mounts up (just kidding). I was feeling well all the time, so my continued expectation was my white blood count would bounce back quickly. The reality was it took its time. A bit of a mental challenge, those 6 days, but put in perspective by the news we got last Friday.

We got the shocking news that Daniela's dear friend and colleague Jo, whom I mentioned before battling nobly against her second cancer, had a massive heart attack and died. She was having a harsh and intensive regime of chemo, but she seemed well and we had no expectations other than her battles would continue. It can get like that: we build expectations of remission or maybe even cure; we think positively and we all act strong. But sometimes cancer gets you - or the treatment does. That's the reality. May she rest in peace.

Jo was a wife, mother, and latterly a doting and delighted grandmother. A fine colleague to Daniela and others. But we, like hundreds of others came to know her first as a passionate and inspirational teacher. I do not use those words lightly. She made a huge difference to a generation and half of children, including our four.

We should all hope to have such an impact.