Lots have people have asked for copies of the eulogies given at the church, so we've attached them below.
We'd like to thank everybody who came and made the day as special and unique as Dad was. We'd also like to thank everybody who couldn't make it, but have written on the blog and sent cards, we feel your love and support and are very grateful.
Finally, Dad had particularly requested that the Monty Python song Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, be played on the day and Luke put together a slide show with some prize pictures of Dad. Please watch and enjoy. And remember to never stop carpe-ing!
Lots of love and thanks from the O'Byrnes xxx
Paul O’Byrne – Eulogy 21 November 2008 by Paul Kennedy
Paul would be so proud of me I have done a mindmap for this talk! (Held up)
Paul was not normal. He wasn’t like anybody else I have ever met.
I first met Paul when he was in his early 20's and I wouldn't say he was an angry young man because Paul was never angry but he was a rebel and was intent on changing the world. I remember he described himself as anti-establishment.
He never stopped being a rebel. To the day he died Paul was not bound by convention or normality. He reveled in being a contrarian and was most comfortable when in the minority.
Paul never lacked self belief and refused to believe he couldn't do something -except keep his desk tidy - we all gave up on that one
He did give up on his plan to change the world. I remember him telling me that he had realised that he couldn't change the world. All he could do was to change the lives of the people he came in contact with. Ambition enough for any ordinary person but for Paul this was a concession, almost an apology. His intent to impact the lives of the people around him may explain his drive for personal development - that and his natural intellectual curiosity - for he set about developing his knowledge and skills like he was a man on a mission.
Among his skills I could list:
1. He was an accountant - but more especially an talented business consultant with an enviable breadth of skills
2. He was passionate about learning languages including sign language
3. He loved the arts including plays, books and paintings and was a good writer - abnormal for most accountants you understand
4. He was something of an expert on medical matters and not just over the last 18m - When I had something wrong with me I wouldn't go to my GP I would go to Paul!
5. He could juggle, uni-cycle and he was a Triathelete
6. As most of you will testify he was also an entertaining and skilled speaker
And Paul loved the limelight. Who could forget Paul’s 15 minutes of fame when he was on the news last year when the Royal Marsden burnt down. How he enjoyed being interviewed on prime time TV; how he sold pictures of the Hospital to waiting journalists in aid of cancer research; how he gave many interviews all printed in the daily newspapers the next day. What fun he had. And how typical of Paul to seize that opportunity. I don’t know how many people in this church today but I wonder how many would have seized that opportunity as Paul did.
So Paul was intent on changing the lives of the people he came in contact with - Paul loved to help. It seemed that he was always helping somebody with something. Many times did he help me or my friends and what a useful friend to have. Not only was he happy to help but had such a breadth of knowledge and experience. The ultimate phone a friend!
Not everybody was grateful for Paul’s help. There was the train fare dodger who when questioned by the ticket inspector pretended he was deaf to avoid his fare – how he who must have cursed his luck to be on the same carriage as Paul O'Byrne who was willing and ready to lend assistance with signing.
Others were more grateful for his help as he unleashed his talents on various organisations:
1. There was The Halliwick penguins - a charity he spent many hours supporting and one dear to his heart
2. He was chair of Governors at St Georges for many years.
3. He was a medal winning blood donor
Paul had very little self orientation, suffered no self pity and loved to give.
The thing I suspect many of you will remember him by was his humour. He had a very dry and fast wit which was still very evident even during the dark days of his illness. Indeed in his last few weeks his lucid moments were peppered with humour as he attempted to ease the suffering of his family.
And what a fantastic role his family has played in his life, his illness and his death. He was so very proud of his four children. Daniela Laura Katie Luke and Frank you should be so proud of the way in which you supported Paul when he needed you. He certainly was.
One of Paul's passions was public speaking and he took every opportunity to speak. He joked that a crowded train carriage was a real temptation for him given the captive audience and the relative silence. He loved to develop his skill and he loved to entertain but most of all it was his chance to change the lives more than one at a time. In recent years he has been given the opportunity – correction - he seized the opportunity to travel and to speak in some wonderful venues across the globe. He was in his element and has influenced so many people many of whom also now hold him in such high regard. I like to think that he has now gone to that great auditorium in the sky.
Paul made no secret of the fact that he loved the applause at the end his talks and always wanted a standing ovation. Now, it also occurs to me that when you go to a funeral you do not get a chance to publicly express how you feel about the deceased (unless you do the eulogy) so today I thought it would be good to give you all that opportunity. I know that we don't do this sort of thing at funerals but …
…I would like to invite you to join me in applauding Paul for his life. So, if you have been inspired helped or influenced positively by Paul I ask you now to join me in showing your appreciation in a way he would have enjoyed.
(Standing ovation)
Paul was not normal. There was nothing ordinary about Paul except perhaps his diet which was notoriously plain. Paul was extraordinary. He was an extraordinary accountant, an extraordinary business partner, an extraordinary friend, an extraordinary father and an extraordinary Husband. Most people live their lives fearfully in a small box that gets smaller as they get older. Paul lived in an expansive, abundant world fearless of failure. He was courageous and an inspiration in the way that he lived, the way he dealt with his cancer and in the way in which he died. He died too young but as ....Abraham Lincoln once said, and echoing what we heard in the reading earlier " It is not the years in your life that count but your life in those years"
I finish as he would have wanted me to, with his invitation to us all: Carpe Diem
Tribute to Dad by Laura O'Byrne
As Paul has said, Dad relished every opportunity to speak in front of an audience and was always encouraging us kids to practise our public speaking. Unfortunately, I never did, and I really regret it right now, but I wanted to at least try and talk today, because although we’re devastated to have lost dad, my overwhelming emotion throughout has been that of gratitude. I am so honoured and privileged to have had Dad as my parent, my mentor and my friend.
When I started thinking about what to say, I came across a questionnaire that dad had pretty flippantly filled out for the Halliwick Penguins website about five years ago, and I thought it was quite revealing and appropriate today. It reads:
Name: “Paul O’Byrne”
Position in club: “Chief instructor”
Time at the club: “since April 77”
Favourite food: “fry up- but it must include chips”
Favourite colour: “bubblegum pink with sparkles” (who knew?!?)
Greatest achievement: “Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon”
Most memorable event: “Canyoning with my family in New Zealand”
What annoys you most: “Potential wasted”
What would you like to achieve in life? – to which he replies- “Immortality or eternal youth, not bothered which.”
And I think that in his own way, he’s achieved both these things, because we will always remember him as a very youthful 51 year old, full of energy, enthusiasm, passion and drive.
And I know that not only our family, but his friends and colleagues too, when faced with difficult situations will ask themselves “What would Paul have done?” and we’ll continue to draw on his values, advice and guidance, and I think that will be his immortality.
Dad knew that he had a lot to offer, but what set him apart was his willingness and determination to offer his expertise and advice to anybody and everybody he met.
One of the most important lessons he taught us as kids was to give. Not just to give to charity or even to give blood- though dad was a passionate advocate for both- but to give of ourselves, to give our time and our efforts for the benefit of others.
Dad always used to say “Accept the things you cannot change, and change the things you cannot accept”, and he very much lived by that. So, from the moment he was diagnosed, he accepted what lay ahead and was totally calm about it- much to the frustration of a counsellor who insisted that he must be in denial, which in turn infuriated Dad no end. But Dad said that though he couldn’t change what had happened, he could determine how he lived his life from that point on.
And that spirit of his never faltered- there were no dark moments of despair- he was genuinely happy and content with what he’d achieved in life and determined to make the most of what time he had left.
Dad loved to travel, but he was always happiest when he was at home. I remember not long ago, when Dad was a day patient at the drug development unit in Sutton. We’d left the house at seven in the morning and made the two hour journey down and with the inevitable wrong drug orders and delays at the pharmacy, Dad didn’t get his transfusion until very late and we wouldn’t be leaving the hospital before 10.30 that night.
Dad was pretty ill by then, and so the hospital offered him a bed for the night, and friends and family near by offered us beds, but Dad, although he was exhausted, was absolutely adamant that we should make the long journey home. It was the only place he wanted to be, and that’s exactly where he chose to stay for his last couple of months. And he loved it; holding court in his big chair in the living room with his numerous international visitors, and sharing each day with us, his incredibly lucky family.
They say that behind every great man, there is a great woman, and that couldn’t be more true than in Dad’s case. Dad was the head of our family, and our mum Daniela is undoubtedly the heart. Dad wanted it to be known today that – and I quote- he didn’t know what love was until he met our mum and started a family with her.
And it’s thanks to her that we are as close and as loving and as well equipped to put into actions the values that our dad taught us. Mum has been totally devoted to loving and caring for Dad. Their 25 year partnership was a rare and extraordinary one and Dad wouldn’t have been the man he was without her.
Dad always led by example and has shown us all that if you live with honesty, integrity and love, and endeavour to make each day count, then no matter how long or short a life, it’ll be a life extremely well lived.
Thank you Dad for all that you’ve done, and all you continue to do. We’ll love and miss you forever, but we promise to seize each day and try to make half the difference you did.
Carpe diem.
