Just another day?

24 April is a significant date for me. Well it is as of 2007, as that was the day the pain in the side (which I had confidently self-diagnosed as kidney stones) was diagnosed by someone who knows about medicine as advanced cancer with metastases in the liver. On this first anniversary, I had planned to write about what had learned in this past year and maybe to reflect on life and death as I now saw it. But yesterday, 23 April 2008 became another significant date. Yesterday my dear mother died.

Dympna, or "Dimps" was 86 (last week actually) and had a fruitful and giving life. She had five loving children and 11 grandchildren. She always had a welcome for her extensive family and equally extensive circle of friends. The door was always open and the kettle always on; I bet at this moment she's going round Heaven with a huge plate of sandwiches. At the time of my father's death two years ago (after 61 years of marriage) I noted that for them the traditional Irish greeting of Céad Mile Fáilte - a hundred thousand welcomes - seemed not so much a quaint Irish exaggeration as a target!

I know everyone thinks their mother the best, as they should, but I was humbled the past couple of weeks when she was unwell and we spent a lot of time together. She was always, always, so grateful for any little thing we did and trying to shoo us away to go back to our own home and not be bothering with her. She honestly didn't get it that after a lifetime of serving others, that she was entitled to have things done for her and that it was an honour for us to make some small attempt at payback.

She suffered with her health for many years in many ways, and after a real scare two weeks ago, seemed well on the road to recovery and we had a fun weekend together. But on Monday she had a massive cranial bleed and never regained consciousness. She just slipped away peacefully last night. We had a chance to say our goodbyes and were grateful for her peaceful passing.

Her funeral is Friday 2 May at 10am at her church for the past 40 years Our Lady of Lourdes, London N11, preceded by a reception into the church the previous evening at 5pm. Dimps will be mourned and missed by a great number of family and friends, but her funeral will surely be a celebration. Not just because of her unswerving conviction in her Catholic faith and the joy of reuniting with Dad and her daughter Clare, who died tragically early of cancer aged 51. Certainly Mum had her adversities tragedies and hardships, but we all have the consolation of a life of service and devotion, great companionship, laughter and - I hope she sees it as we all do - that she left this world better than she found it.

Rest in peace Mum, and thank you so much.